The first blog post of this month's series about Building a Tech-Safe home begins with family conversations and rules around technology and personal devices.
Many families have multiple devices: iPads, cell phones, laptops, smart tv, and smart watches. Throw in a few school devices and a cool new birthday gift of an Alexa or Google Home and you're suddenly surrounded with things that think faster than you, respond better than you, and track more than you ever could.
To help this overwhelming feeling of "Well, its too late, we have too many things to keep track of!" Start simple: Start with Family Rules
Rules should include:
* Decide where devices can be used
Where are areas of your home where using a device might cause a problem? The three B's! - Bedrooms, Bathrooms and before Bedtime! While the last one isn't really an area of your home, it does help your child's mind wind down before they go to sleep for the night. Turn off devices, settle down as a family, and do something that calms their body and mind so they're ready for sleep. Remind them that devices need "sleep" too if they're really young, and make a game of "tucking" them in to their charging port! As a family, discuss that safety issues occur when using a device in a bedroom or bathroom and how important it is for their mind to relax before sleep at night.
* Create a family charging location outside of bedrooms.
Start by finding a place in your home where you can store devices when they're not being used. A corner shelf with a lock would be ideal so that devices are stored away at night but a simple box or drawer with charging cables run into it would also work. Find a spot that works for your family. There are lots of ideas online about simple at home charging tech stations!
* Establish device-free times such as meals, family activities and bedtime.
Device-free times should be agreed-upon times where all family members put their phones and laptops/tablets away and ignore any notifications on their watches for the time being. This allows real conversation and real connection to happen! This is a great opportunity for families to reconnect and enjoy each other's company.
* Keep younger children's devices in common areas while older children have rules about bedrooms, bedtime, and private screens. (Although, this starts when they're young too!)
As soon as you hand a device to your child, they should already be able to recite where that device can and cannot be used in your home. They should also be able to tell you what time that device gets locked and put away and what time in the morning it is available to them again. They should also agree that devices are not in bedrooms without the door open at all times, the screen should be visible to you as you walk in or walk by their rooms, and no one ever keeps a secret about their online activity. The parents are the first line of defense in keeping kids safe online!
* Parents should model the same habits you're expecting your children to follow.
This is a tough one for parents because we work full time jobs. We need to answer that email, we need to pick up that phone call, we need to respond to that text. Its just a minute, hold on let me get this done real quick.... and suddenly we are on our device when we probably shouldn't be. Our kids watch our behavior. Are we willing to do what we ask them to do? Are we willing to make ourselves uncomfortable for the sake of their safety online? I think the answer should always be yes. Show them you mean business by doing the same thing with them! They'll be more willing to accept the rules if you are also a part of the solution!
* Talk about expectations before handing over the device.
Its their birthday and you're ready for them to have a phone! But before they receive that device, you need to have a serious conversation about all of the above expectations! Make sure they understand the guidelines around having a device, about your concerns with safety, and about what makes this family work together when it comes to technology. Keep those conversations going long after you hand it over!
* What to do with old devices.
Recycling programs are available in many communities, so take a few minutes to see what options are available for your old devices. An old phone or tablet is still a device—it may connect to the internet, have a working camera, or even be reactivated with a new SIM card. Don't keep unused devices where family members can easily access them. Kids are smart, and an old device can quickly become a way around parental controls or screen time limits. Open and honest conversations are important too, but properly securing and recycling old technology removes one less temptation. Recycle those old tech devices!
Follow these rules to help your family start the school year off right when interacting with technology. You and your family are a team and you are raising empowered tech savvy kids!
